Do you ever notice how everyone uses Proverbs 31 with regards to women and who they should be, what they should do, when they should do it, and how amazing all of the above should be?
Some find it to be a little bit (way beyond) stressful trying to measure up to that. Other woman resent it, and it makes them angry and determined not to let it define them. King Lemuel’s mother knew what she was talking about, but she sure gave us a pretty tough role model to model. After years of hearing it mulled over, discussed and dissected, I decided to look into it myself.
Sure enough, she was just as strictly perfect as I thought.
But then I thought some more. This isn’t the story of a perfect woman. It’s the story of a godly woman. This woman knew where her place was, what role God put her in and she worked her very hardest at fulfilling it, to the best of her ability. She had talents, and she used them to the advantage of her family. Her husband was honored because of her, and he trusted her totally. She was useful and helpful to all, but her priority was her husband and family first.
That didn’t mean she was Jesus – never sinning, never making a mistake, never having a bad day or thinking a bad thought.
So I decided to rewrite, in my words, what I see in each verse and how I desire for it to work out in my life. If you can, open your Bible to Proverbs 31:11 (or google it and open it in a new tab 😉 ) and read with me. Then find a piece of paper or open your journal and write out the verses as to how you want them to come alive in your life.
Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:11
I want the heart of my husband to safely trust me & lack no gain because of me. I want to be the woman behind my man, the one who encourages him to do the great things God has planned for him!
12
I want to do him good, and make his life better because he chose me.
13
I want to willingly work with my hands to profit my husband and household.
14
I want to provide good, natural, healthful meals that make Ryan say, “Dear… This is really good. *pause* Reeeally good.” While looking at me in amazement and shaking his head. 😉
15
I want to wake earlier with my husband so I can make him good breakfasts and we have some time before he’s off to start his long day away at the office.
16
I want to consider business opportunities & begin them prayerfully, wisely, and confidently.
17
I want to get in shape so that I have a strong and healthy body that won’t hinder me from my work and will be able to carry our babies someday. 🙂
18
I want my merchandise/products to be good for us and good for those who receive them. I want to provide my family with a helpful income so that ‘our lamp doesn’t go out by night’. (The electric prices up here are horrendous!) 😛
19
I want to keep working on my sewing machine and become a good seamstress.
20
I want us to be in a place of financial freedom so that we can freely give over and above our tithe.
21
I will not be afraid of any season because I know we are well taken care of.
22
I want to make quality clothes for myself and others.
23
I want my husband to receive honor and praise and be well respected among his peers. Anything I can do to encourage that, God help me!
24
I want to make a business out of selling ‘linen garments’ that I’ve made. 🙂
25 – 26
I want to have strength and honor. I want to open my mouth with wisdom and kindness – not out of anger or frustration or bitterness.
27
I want to be resourceful and busy! Not ‘eating the bread of idleness’, but watching over the affairs (only) of my own home.
28
Someday I want my children to be proud of and thankful for their momma. I want my husband to be proud of me!
29 – 30
Above all else, I want to be known as fearing and reverencing the Lord, the Savior of my soul!
31
I want to be fruitful for my family, bring honor to my husband and prove that it isn’t wasteful to follow God’s plan for women as the keeper of the home, no matter where I’m at or what I’m doing.
Some of this can seem overwhelming. Some of it, in the place you are right now, can seem unattainable. But really, what was our promise in Philippians 4:13?
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Yes, when we try to do all of this on our own, we will end up frustrated, pulling our hair out, blubbering and crying that we are such failures (that was a real life example 😛 ). God has to work in us to shape us into this ^ kind of woman. I’m not nearly where or who I want to be either, and I know it’s going to be a life-long process. In this life we will never be the perfect picture of everything – wife, helper, mother, lover, friend, etc. But we can be constantly going back to Scripture, allowing God to conform us to Christ. Remember: A woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised. (Prov. 31:30b)
My prayer for you is that God gives you the desire to be a godly woman and wife after His own heart. And if you’re a man reading this, my prayer for you is that you settle for nothing less than a woman who loves the Lord. Any of you who are married, never lose faith that your spouse can become one who loves Him. God and God alone can change their heart, but by your conduct you can encourage them one way or the other.
How are you becoming the wife God wants you to be? What are you letting go of to show Him you are giving it all over to Him? Husbands: How have you seen God working in your wife and marriage?
