So, when I wrote this we were over 39 weeks. With Baby Number Two.
How in the WORLD did that happen?!
I feel like I was just sitting in my old sewing room, the warm summer air blowing through the windows on 3 sides of the tiny room, writing a post about preparing for our first baby.
Now there’s going to be two?!
*cue hyperventilation emoticon* (They really need one of those). 😉
These last 8 months have been filled with:
- massive whole house renos trying to get ready for Baby Girl, (deja vu!)
- birthday parties
- more major house renos
- two different appraisals of said renos
- two different funerals for 2 of the sweetest in-law Grandparents you could imagine
- lots of nausea
- inability to find a single girl name we liked.
Finally at 37 weeks we bought clothes for her and at 39 weeks, I was still waiting for diapers to arrive.
*cue hyperventilation emoticon* (Again).
So what do you do to prepare for Baby Number Two? Here are a few things I’ve tried that might be helpful to you, too. 🙂
#1 Prepare your heart for Baby Number Two
It might feel like you can’t possibly love a child more than #1.
Like, is this little one going to be harder to love because your heart is just so full from your first?
Every Mama I talked to with more than one had reassured me, (even without me bringing it up!) that, just like the Family Circle comic, you don’t divide your love between your children, you multiply it. Instinctively.
Calm your heart by knowing just like you bonded with and adore your first, you’ll bond with and adore your second too. It’ll be different, of course, because your time and attentions are divided differently now, but it will still be beautiful and so wonderful. 🙂
This is 100% true. I have suffered with PPD after both babies, however I never had a hard time bonding with either. And even though they are very, very different and amazingly unique, I don’t love one better or more than the other. It is beautiful how God designed our mama hearts.
#2 Do a refresher on what you want out of your birth, postpartum, and for your baby
Are you having a home birth/birth center/hospital birth? Doula? Water birth? Do you want interventions or no? Do you want baby to have the Vitamin K, or Hep B shot at birth? Who do you want involved in your labor, birth, postpartum? Where or who is going to have responsibility for Baby #1 while you and hubby are preoccupied with labor and delivery?
We planned another home birth, with our midwife and doula from our first. I did not want interventions, other than natural pain relief, comfort from having women there that have been through it too and the support of my dear hubby.
There are many things that need discussed and decided ahead of time so that in the moment, things can go as smoothly as possible.
#3 Get ready physically and mentally for Baby Number Two
Do you have:
- baby clothes
- nursing supplies
- large girl or boy themed burp cloths
- pads for postpartum
- a plan for if you struggle with breastfeeding, or postpartum depression
6 Practical Things Every New Mama Needs To Want goes into more detail of necessary and unnecessary things for whatever number baby you’re on.
Have you talked to hubby about what he needs to do if you end up with postpartum depression? Even if you didn’t have it with your first, make a plan now. Different pregnancies do different things to us mamas.
Do you have a plan for recovering after baby comes? MAKE ONE. Set ground rules now for who will be visiting when. Talk to hubby about a code word for if you need visitors to leave. Make some postpartum meals for the freezer ahead of time.
#4 Affirm yourself
You’re a good mama.
You’re a good wife.
You can always do better, but you’re important and needed just as you are.
God doesn’t make mistakes. He’s blessed you with this baby for a reason and even if it feels overwhelming and impossible, ALL things are possible with Him. He promised never to leave or forsake you. You can do all things through the strength He provides through His Son, Jesus.
How to ultimately prepare for baby number two
I know there are a lot of lists out there more in depth than this one on how to prepare for Baby #2.
I’ve gotten a lot of advice from other moms too – put your toddler somewhere safe he can play and then sleep when baby sleeps, try to set a nap and bedtime so that you can have quiet time with the new baby while #1 sleeps, cherish the moments with #1 while #2 sleeps, etc.
That is all important, but I wanted to touch on these other points.
Mama, it’s easy to discount what you do, especially with crazy pregnancy or postpartum hormones flowing through your veins, but please don’t do it. Your husband needs you, and your babies need you. Your family needs you, and God needs you to do your part in the plan He has for you and your little’s lives.
So, two points to remember –
- DON’T go building yourself up so much that you think you’re a goddess (you’re not)
- DO make sure you know that you have an important place in this life and without you, things would be very different
Enjoy the time with your first sweet one, and enjoy the kicks and hiccups and growth of your second love inside. Cherish all these little moments, they are so fleeting.
And Mama, give yourself a break. Don’t push it, we only have this one life, these few moments with our loved ones. Enjoy them, love them, give them memories of a happy Mama and wife. I’m so in the trenches with you, trying to be and do those things. <3