Ridiculous expectations often come from peer pressure.
Can you feel the heat, just in those two little, nasty words?
Who actually likes peer pressure? I can’t think of anyone, yet everyone has it, to a certain degree.
If you think it was bad in school and college, wait till you’re Mama to someone.
The pressure in that arena is enough to speed cook a chicken. Or a herd of chickens.
(Yes, I know they don’t come in herds. I’m tired.)
Just like so many of you, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the fact that it’s important to me what someone else thinks.
Most times, ridiculous expectations are what they have.
I had 2, incredibly different (amazing) home births. That automatically makes me an outcast as “it’s totally not safe to give birth outside of a hospital”. (Even tho it’s been done since the beginning of time.)
It’s not cool to do your own research and be well-informed if it might go against what someone with a medical degree says. (Don’t get me wrong, I know and have worked for some amazing doctors who respect me as a mother and educated patient.)
To some, the fact I nursed my first baby till he was 15 months and let him self-wean is simply gross. I’m the biggest weirdo in the world for not stopping at a year. To others still, 15 months wasn’t nearly long enough, and don’t I know the benefits he would still be getting right now? (Refer to key word above: SELF weaned).
My daughter is 16 months and still very, very interested in nursing. I’m fielding more and more comments on the importance of weaning her.
3-6 months is plenty long to a certain sect.
Several others are automatically offended that I nurse at all. Because seriously, formula is great and breastmilk isn’t all it’s hyped up to be.
SAHM Ridiculous Expectations
I’m a stay at home mama. Some think I have all the time in the world. They can’t understand why my house has toys strewn on the floors. Or why there’s crumbs under the table, and the laundry is (usually) piled on the sofa.
To others, I don’t spend enough time with my babies because I’m too focused on temporal things like keeping the house livable.
I dote over my babies too much and “he’s going to be a sissy” if I ask Baby Boy if he’s OK after yet another head-bounce off of something hard.
Or I’m not caring enough when I observe that he’s not upset and continuing to play. Because, it ‘sounded bad’, so I should be doing something for him.
Which is it already??
More icing on the ridiculous expectation cake
I’m one of those mothers – the goody-two-shoes, roll-your-eyes-at mamas because I try to feed my little ones real food without Round Up/toxic chemicals/genetically modified crap in it. You know, that stuff that’s linked to all kinds of horrible conditions/diseases and cancer/death. Or I’m not being careful enough and feeding disease not fighting it when, after a long, hard, poop-filled day, I give in and make organic mac & cheese. The bug shaped ones.
To a few, my little ones are too disruptive in church. (Little Man is 3 and Baby Girl is 17 months). But we don’t train them well enough so that they can sit silently through an entire service or long business meeting.
At about 3 months old, Baby Girl let out a few cries in the foyer during a transfer between Daddy and I, just after the service started. A female attender got up and slammed the doors of the sanctuary on us – within seconds of the first cry and after she had already quieted.
Babies ‘belong in the nursery’ so everyone else can concentrate, even when it’s just a church meeting and there IS no nursery.
In other words, they are to be seen and not heard.
My barely 3 year old doesn’t obey quickly enough. But spanking! Oh my goodness graciousness, spanking might as well be throwing them off a cliff.
Give A Little Grace. Please?
Can’t we all just admit this mothering/parenting thing is stinking hard and be nice to each other?
I agree, there are parents that need help. But a 2, or 4, or 7 year old being a little rambunctious while entertaining themselves with the pastor’s kids in the mostly empty foyer of church an hour after the service ended, while waiting for Mama and Daddy to stop talking?
That is not something to disgrace anyone over.
Yes, we will always have differences.
We will have disagreements. We will think that we know better about what should be happening with someone else’s child.
But, here’s the big but, if they’re not your child, you have no say. None. So get over it and get back to parenting your own babies. (Or being “glad you’re not in this stage anymore”.) 😉