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To the Unprincipled Woman Shacking Up with Another’s Husband

Written by Tiffany H

To the Unprincipled Woman deep in adultery,

I’ve had you on my heart for a while now.

I’m sure you don’t get a lot of support or encouragement in your new role. Even those with the lowest of morals seem to look down on you.

So that’s not what I want to say to you right now.

First, I want to say, taking you out of the situation you’re in, God loves you. (Flashback to ‘Touched by an Angel’ if you wish). His Son, Jesus, knew you would do what you’re doing when He willingly hung on the cross, dying a miserable, horrible death for our sins – yours just the same as mine. He promised to wipe away the blackness of your sin, same as He promised He would for every person who chooses to follow Him. There is forgiveness and renewal to be had, if you would just choose it. (Feel free to message me about it).

Secondly, I want to bring some reality to your situation, because in every case I’ve seen like this, there’s never any of that in it, for either party.

To The Unprincipled Woman Shacking Up With Another's Husband

So, Unprincipled Woman,

Remember the man you’re with:

  • Made a public, verbal commitment to:
    • love
    • honor
    • cherish
    • and support a DIFFERENT WOMAN through:
      • sickness and health
      • good times and bad
      • for the REST OF THEIR LIVES

What makes you think he’s going to love, honor or cherish you? I’m sure he’s said things in the heat of the moment you like to hang onto, pretending this could be the real thing, but there’s no weight behind any of it.

There’s zero incentive to be faithful to you, Unprincipled Woman.

No one is even expecting him to be faithful to you.


Because you are not his.

You are a cheap substitute for the wife of his youth. A fill in. A byproduct of a mind that lusted for something he shouldn’t have.

You are disposable and expendable and a willing pawn in a game someone else is playing.

You don’t have to remain an Unprincipled Woman:

  • Repent, ask God to forgive your sin.
  • Find a Bible believing church and get involved in a ladies group or Bible study.
  • Wait for the one who will make the public, verbal commitment to love, honor and cherish YOU for life.
  • And then make that same commitment to him and do your part in making your marriage good for life.

God has the BEST in store for those who love Him, and this is the opposite of His best.

But it’s not fair.

I know it’s easy to listen to the sad story the man gave you. It’s easy to rationalize that his nasty wife was a husband-abuser who berated, belittled, nagged and complained at him. He was made to feel like less of a man, a step parent to his own children. He couldn’t get a word in, couldn’t do a thing right. The man spent his life working only to never be appreciated or respected.

It’s really sad, but to that I say: SO. WHAT.

That’s not YOUR concern.

Their marriage was on the rocks, and instead of you staying out of the mire, you added filth between them that will take a long, long time to scrub away and will forever leave a stain.

To The Unprincipled Woman Shacking Up With Another's HUsband

Hope For Healing

God can and does miraculously heal marriages. He’s even healed marriages that have been damaged and almost destroyed by the physical and emotional unfaithfulness of adultery.

I’ve seen it and it’s beautiful and faith-building, but it’s something that never, ever goes away from the history of a couple.

You don’t belong in the situation you are in. There are options to get out. Don’t stay there with that man. Make him accountable to the commitment he made. Possibly make an appeal to his wife for forgiveness.

Then get away from the entire situation. They have lots of work to do. It’s not up to you now whether they make it work or not.

It is your responsibility to take control of your life and turn it around. You don’t have to stay in the filth of infidelity and adultery.

What You Need To Do:

Be a strong woman. A woman who respects her body and her soul enough to stay out of destructive relationships.

Be someone who doesn’t melt to the lustful words of a lost man who will leave you the moment he gets homesick for his previous life and his actual family.

Repent, and ask God for forgiveness and healing.

I want to be the one who tells you – you can do it. Get out now.

There’s no reason not to, and every reason to.

I’m rooting for you,


To The Unprincipled Woman Shacking Up With Another's Husband

About the author

Tiffany H

Hi! I'm Tiffany, mama to the handsomest little boy and sweetest little girl, and wife to the best man ever. I love my Savior, being a housewife, mama and personal 'bakist' to the hubby, living naturally, and making real food taste yummy. I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into my crazy, happy life. Join me on the journey, let's get to know each other!

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  • The other woman was my good friend and my marriage was good marriage. I forgave him, but it’s been hard to forgive her. She acts ritious and that he only stayed with me because a divorce is too expensive.

    • I’m so sorry you went through that, Kristin! You are so right (and amazing!) to be able to forgive him, but her, I would do my best to avoid and cut out of your lives. The Bible is clear that that we need to forgive, but God does not say we need to keep people in our lives that have hurt us and are unrepentant about it. Stay strong, dear Wife. Sending huge hugs!