This pregnancy has been weird.
27 weeks flew by and we’re down to the wire with huge house renovations again, causing massive amounts of deja vu. (This happened last time, only with a different house!) I’ve struggled through a lot of it again, emotionally, physically with nausea, exhaustion, food/smell aversions, palpitations, daily nosebleeds and a nasal polyp that started during my first pregnancy almost two years ago. Add 3-6 whole food poopy diapers to change EVERY DAY (even so much worse than breastfed baby diapers), a huge, 100 pound, always smelly dog, living next to a guy who sells BBQ for a living and is always smoking some kind of meat, and a drafty, 1/2 insulated house that lets all kind of smells/stinks in, the nausea is easy to come by which, in turn, made the depression even easier to come by. This time it took to 20 some weeks to finally improve (last time it was 16-18 weeks), but then was immediately replaced with ‘nervous stomach’ from baby being so high.
Sigh.
Pregnancy… a beautiful, miraculous, uncomfortable, debilitating thing to go through.
Last pregnancy, I was around a lot of people so I got a lot of comments. About everything. Everything. How huge I was, how small I was, how disappointing it was that my first baby was a boy (?!?), how fun boys are, how much funner girls are, how girls are so much cuter to dress, how I was carrying high, nope I was carrying low, I was going to go early, I was definitely going to go late, etc., etc., etc., etc. Every pregnant mother on the face of the earth knows what I’m talking about because people are strangely attracted to sharing weird (and often stupid or rude) opinions with us.
This pregnancy has been a little easier in that regard because I’ve been around a lot less people. However, there is a line I get all the time now, ever since our first announcement of baby being a girl. “Ohhhhh, that’s so wonderful! That’s the perfect little family!”. At first I was taken aback. Heck, who knows, maybe I have even said something like that in the past to a previous patient or pregnant person in passing (tongue twister anyone?). 😛 There are the ‘standard’ replies to certain details a pregnant woman shares, you know. 😛
But it made me think deeper this time… why is one girl and one boy the perfect little family? Is my family of four more perfect than my sister’s, who has 4 sweet, crazy girls, but no boys? Is it more perfect than friends who had 3 boys? 3 boys, 1 girl? 2 girls, 1 boy? 1 girl, 2 boys? If so, why? I understand you get a taste of each gender’s positives (and negatives), but why does that make it perfect? Does that mean that later on down the line, if we add to our 1 girl and 1 boy that we are automatically making our family LESS perfect?
I am the first to think and proclaim that my little family is perfect. They are who God has blessed me to be with for this time. I can’t imagine a sweeter little boy to call mine. I can’t imagine a man more perfectly suited to be my husband. Every day I am more excited to meet this little girl who will one day grace us with her smile and unique presence. But in all honesty, (here it comes) my perfect family is not more perfect than yours. Don’t even allow that thought to cross your mind.
Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Imagine how much less perfect your life would be if your loved little ones weren’t in it. Love on them, appreciate them, make joyful memories with them. Tell them how perfect they are and how perfect you think your family is. Thank God for them and cherish every moment, even the hard ones. How much better is it to be going through bad times together, than good times alone??
Being pregnant these two times has blessed me with a perspective I wouldn’t have had any other way. Don’t worry, I’m not offended when I get this comment. I know my family is perfect, but I also know it’s not because I have 1 boy and 1 girl. 😉 I love that I’m in the unique ‘Mama club’ where we can relate to each other regarding these things. I can’t imagine a more ‘perfect’ family to be a part of. 😉
Rock on, Mama of every number of girl and/or boy. Love on that perfect little family of yours. <3
I definitely understand the “perfect little family.” I have the older son and the younger daughter, but then I adopted my nephew. Now I have two older boys and a spoiled baby girl. Does that make my family any less than perfect? Absolutely not!
What a beautiful family, Brittany! <3 I imagine your sweet children are perfectly imperfect. 😉 (They ARE beautiful btw, I checked out your blog. I love that you share so many pictures!) Rock on, Mama!
You’re right! People do think this way. I had four, three boys, one girl. And never found perfect at any point. Grateful, though I was, it was all hard and very ugly at times! However, we had perfect moments, and I’ll cherish them forever.
Yes, I know about very ugly at points! Gratefulness does have a way of smoothing things over tho, and making us see (and cherish!) the beauty in it! Thank you for sharing, Lisa! God bless. <3
When I was pregnant with my daughter, people would tell me we’d have “a million dollar family”, since we already had a boy. I still have no idea what this means. I never did get my million dollars 5 years later! 🙂 That’s a really good point about no family being more perfect than another. You’re blessed with your own unique children, no matter how many of each you have!
Haha! That’s a good one. 😉 I haven’t gotten that yet. Everyone is just focused on ‘perfection’ right now, I guess. And amen! I love your last line. God doesn’t make mistakes! <3