Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong?
Of course you do. I don’t know why I even asked such a silly question.
I think that’s what we call ‘living’. Life is full of days where everything goes wrong, exhaustion sets in, chores never get caught up, people don’t think or act right, the dog throws up all over the living room carpet.
Yes. That was my day. And I took that day, a day that God made, and I wallowed in the ‘wrong’ of it. I woke up exhausted, got hubby’s lunch packed, then fell back in bed only to wake up a couple hours later still just as exhausted. Then I came downstairs to the damages of a tropical storm named living-in-a-house-for-a-week-while-having no-time-to clean-it having tore thru my kitchen, dining, living, laundry room and bathroom. (Surprisingly the office and my sewing room were fairly untouched.) It was terrible I tell you. I stumbled to work, grabbing the full basket of clean clothes and transporting them to the living room so I could work-out while I folded. But first the carpet needed vacuumed. Which led to ‘you can’t vacuum just one room’, so I did the dining, hall and office where the dog kennel and 500 pounds of fur were. Finally, back to the clothes, start the walk dvd. Cody came out to lay down in his spot behind Ryan’s big green chair, and as I’m trying to concentrate on two different things, he starts acting weird. I didn’t even get his name out of my mouth before he spews green stuff all over from his.
Sorry that was graphic. At least I didn’t share a pic of it.
By the time I was awake an hour, I was already frustrated and overwhelmed. Still to do: iron clothes, gather from around the house then start another load of laundry and put away the ones I folded, scrub the bathroom and floor, wash all the shower curtains (which are terrible to get down), scrub a mountain of dishes, pots and pans, wipe counters down, put various kitchen things away, sweep and scrub the kitchen floor, pick up our bedroom and make the bed, pull the garbage cans and recycling up the driveway and empty all of it from the house, call and confirm we will make a cake for a church event, call and find out why we still haven’t been paid from a company for our mixes, cancel a subscription, make sure bills due are paid, make sure hubby books our unit for the last leg of our vacation in September (I. can. not. wait.) and figure out what to make for supper.
I had 6 hours to do that in. Oh and eating breakfast and lunch was supposed to be mixed in there somewhere.
Add texting with someone important to me, who doesn’t realize what she’s doing with her life, and being told off and pushed away.
Then hubby came home early to surprise me (that never happens), and along with surprising me, it was devastating. I still had the mountain of dishes to wash, kitchen to clean, shower curtains to hang, and I had no idea what to do for supper. That little basketball of stress in me blew up to be a monster-sized beach ball.
Plus, I forgot! I’m supposed to figure out what’s for lunch AND supper for the next two days. Why? Wednesdays are crazy. Hubby is gone 10+ hours, then has 30 minutes after getting home to be at church, ready and prepared to teach our teen apologetics class. I work long hours on Wednesday and usually have to drive right to church from work only to miss half of the lesson and end up starving till 9pm. We have to be in bed around 1o, only to get up after too little sleep (again) to another long day of work for both of us. It is a disaster if we don’t have food ready ahead of time. (And that is an area I fail in a lot. Seriously, can’t we just take a break from eating?!)
I’m getting burnt out. I’ve had it before, so I know what it’s like. It’s like trying to make the world spin by yourself and suddenly there’s no more air left to go in your lungs, collapsing and not caring if it ever were to spin again. It’s self-sufficiency, and it never works.
Our schedules are crazy, and some people want us to add more to them. I’m praying and waiting for my husband to make a decision for us that we will take no more on, possibly drop something, and just spend more time being together and regrouping. Until then, I need to stop trying to spin the world by myself (as if I could).
God says He is my shepherd, He makes me to lie down in green pastures and leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23) He says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13) He promises to always be with me. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
I took a day and I was weary in it, leaning on myself and my understanding of life and my situation. But God Himself said to trust Him with all my heart, and promised that when I acknowledge Him in every area of my life, He would certainly direct me in the way I should go. Right now, He has me here, in this spot, doing this thing, juggling these responsibilities, working for this doctor, being jealous for my hubby’s time… for a reason. None of this was a mistake. I could look back over just the last four years and tell you of so many instances where God clearly, supernaturally directed my path, beginning with following my husband and becoming his wife. God has so richly blessed me, but I can see that only when I clear away the muck of a bad or ‘wrong’ day.
I will end with what my tired, yet full heart is saying:
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
How do you rejoice in the Lord through your weary, ‘wrong’ days?