Today was rough. I have been saying the past few days that I really need a change. An update. Something to break me out of my habit of repetition. The worst presently being our meals. I have no desire to eat another hamburger, sweet potato oven fry or steamed veggie. I don’t even crave my homemade pizza or spelt pasta dishes! (Who doesn’t crave pizza or pasta?!)
Some of my old symptoms have started to come back. The dizziness, ear pain, nausea off and on, sneezing, exhaustion. Not nearly to the extent of last year, but I knew something was up, so we went in to see my doctor tonight. You know what that man had the nerve to tell me?? My body is reacting to spelt and sprouted grains now. Oh the sharp stabbing pangs of grief. I have to create whole meals without the option of my spelt bread, rolls, pasta? Spelt or sprouted something is practically a staple of our suppers. It’s some of the easiest things to put together! And I want to know – how do you eat an egg without toast?!
Of course I cried. Well, I waited till we got out of the doctor’s office first. Not that he hasn’t seen me cry – this has been a long year and there have been many an occasion for that, but I held them at bay this time. I knew my hubby would be upset. This last year has been a huge boat-load of changes and compromises for him too. I was right, he was at first. Driving home in the silence I could tell the wheels were turning in his head. I wasn’t sure whether to be encouraged or dismayed (due to my commonly pessimistic outlook I chose the later), but his taking my hand helped a little. We got home, he sat down at his computer and I went upstairs to think. 15 minutes later he came and found me.
“We’re gonna do this.”
Praise God. Praise God! That’s the only thing I have to say of my husband’s graciousness to me. I have learned something new every day of our married life and today I learned of and more totally understood my husband’s love and care for me. He willingly puts his life in line with mine all because that is what will help me.
In that 15 minutes prior he had researched all kinds of new and different recipes we can eat or at least modify (we are pretty talented at that if I can say so myself) on a mostly grain-free diet. We tried one tonight and it was delicious! I’ve never had anything like it before. It’s called Ryan’s Black Bean Mess. We ate it over millet (I can eat that) with steamed veggies and raw milk. How mood-lifting it is to know “meat and veggies” can be interesting. And tasty. And not just filling, but FULfilling. 😉
So these next several months will be another season of change in my life. I’m finding God uses them each for great purposes, so it doesn’t have to be a dark, scary time. Looking back over my life so far, the most exciting times have been those seasons. They are the times I have seen and felt the most growth in who I am as a woman, as a daughter of God. I’m starting (key word!) to embrace, like really squeeze and hug, change. Praise God! 2 Timothy 1:7 says – For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. It’s true! He takes every anxiety, if we let Him, and replaces it with a peace that surpasses all understanding. (See my favorite verses Philippians 4:6-7 for that promise!)
This has given me even more to share and contemplate here. 🙂 Stay tuned!